Our gratitude

I wanted to write this post the moment I started getting comments from friends and then from friends of friends, but I knew it would be an emotional one, so I put it off. I can’t put it off anymore though.
You wonderful people sent me more wonderful people to offer words of comfort?
I am so blessed and so grateful to you.
Every comment that appeared in my e-mail made me cry. I’m so grateful for each one.
I can not thank you guys enough; words cannot express.
I want to give an extra thank you to Janet of Basset Momma and Leslie of Bringing Up Bella. I feel as if you two sent me an army of kind and thoughtful people to offer me their condolences. It made me feel so blessed and so loved, thank you both from the bottom of my heart.
I also want to give an extra thank you to Carly, my best friend. You used nearly every means of communication to send me your love and condolences, and I’m truly sorry I dodged every one of them for days. It honestly meant so much to me, I just didn’t know what to say, I still don’t know what to say, other than thank you.
Thank you Nola, Brianne, Pixel, Cotton, Essex and Sherman and their Dog Dad, Daisy’s Mom, Kim, Theresa & Prudence, Donna, H and Flo, Teje, Cindy, HoundDogMom, Val, Julie, Melissa and Yuki and Rocket, the brown dawgs, Cinnamon and Linda, KSO (Betty), Pauley, and Collie222— I hope I didn’t miss anyone— your kind words mean so much to me.

I feel I should give a little update on things around here.
It has been quiet and empty and lonely without my sweet Ella.
Lassie has taken it pretty hard, but you guys would be so proud of Petal. She has really stepped it up over the past few days. She makes sure Lassie and I get up and she makes sure we still go for our walks and we still play and have a little fun. I honestly don’t know what we would do without her, but we probably wouldn’t be leaving the couch all that often.
She always seems to know when I’m about to lose it and she knows exactly what to do, whether it be cuddling with me and letting me cry, or doing something extremely goofy to make me smile instead.
Lassie has been clingy. Tuesday I ran a few errands with my Mom, hoping that getting out of the house would help, and when I came home I was told by my Dad and my siblings that Lassie actually howled while I was away. He doesn’t do that often and usually he’s pretty upset when he does do it. 
I took a shower that night and Mom said Lassie cried for me.
He follows me from room to room. He’s licked away a lot of tears and offered many hours worth of snuggles.
Lassie is wonderfully understanding when it comes to mourning and he brings me so much comfort. Petal has as well, but she also reminds me that— despite how hard it may be— I have to keep going.
Sometimes going, going, going helps, but sometimes… I really hate it.
How can everything keep moving and going after Ella left so suddenly?
Like she did with everything else in her life, she left so quickly.
One morning I thought I heard her shifting and getting comfortable in her crate.
When I leave the house I look for three furry faces to say “Be good! I’ll be back!” to.
When I walk in the door I expect to see her dancing around me with a toy in her mouth.
I wake up in the morning, ready to feed and care for three dogs, and quickly realize there’s only two now.
I miss her so much.


20 thoughts on “Our gratitude

  1. Just popped over to see how you are doing…again I am so sorry about Ella. She will always be with you and I am sure she will “show up” from time to time to let you know things are going to be okay.
    Your other pups are grieving too…and it’s funny how they know just what to do. Thinking of you.

  2. I’ve been thinking of you and your family since I read the first post, it’s good to see that the Collies are helping you get through. I think that if one has to encounter grief, there’s no better way to do it than with the help of a Collie (or two).

  3. I know words really don’t help, but please know we have you close in our thoughts. I know exactly how you feel; that’s how I felt (and sometimes still feel) about sweet little Charlotte.
    Please give the pups extra hugs from us. Hang in there. Trust me when I say this, you will feel better. Maybe not today, maybe not in two months but it does get easier.
    Love and hugs
    Nola and Mom

  4. Glad you are hanging in there. It is tough, we know that from our ordeal back in May 2011. You may get some more visitors as we’ll mention it in our next post. We weren’t sure if wanted visitors but this post lets us know otherwise. If you were with Dog With Blogs, we would have alerted every paw in that community.

    Essex rarely left Dog Dad’s side the week after Deacon crossed the bridge. She didn’t seem to mope, though she definitely tried to make him feel better. It sounds like Lassie and Essex both do an excellent job of tuning into their person’s feelings.

    Remember the good times with Ella and know she would want you happy. I know you will never forget, but time does dull the pain. I believe the only thing worse than loosing a beloved canine chum is not having one in your life.

  5. I keep thinking as soon as I stop crying, I’ll respond to your post. And then I start crying again so I’ll try this anyway.

    When my father died a couple of years ago, I sat in a restaurant with Jan and said that part of me wanted to yell at everybody. How were they laughing? How were they working? Didn’t they know that the world had stopped?

    A friend answered that question for me with this: Know that for a moment, it did. For everyone who posted here, the world stopped with you.

    Be gentle with yourself. And please know you owe us nothing. You’ve already given us the greatest gift – you’ve shared Ella with us and let us love her, too. The stories you’ve created of her here will be a lasting tribute and a beautiful remembrance someday. Until then, I know that Lassie and Petal will be there to comfort you in your grief.

    Warm regards,

  6. We are so sorry for your loss Marquie. She is a good dog and will be greatly missed by us and her cousins Kimber and Crommie. We love you. You have beautiful words and you will carry a piece of her around in your heart, always. Give Lassie and Petal extra XOXO from us too!

  7. I am so very sorry that your beloved Ella is gone, Marquie. The pain and loss is great right now–for you and Lassie and Petal. Love and cherish everyday with them, and cherish your memories of Ella. She is with you always and watches over you. Prayers and healing thoughts to you.

    Dianne and Duffy

  8. I just heawd fwom the Key West Collies about youw bootiful Ella leaving fow the Bwidge way too soon.
    I know you loved and chewished hew evewyday of hew life wif you..that is what she takes wif hew now. she will always be in youw heawt and pawt of youw pack..let Lassie and Petal and all of us comfowt you and give youw heawt healing smoochie kisses

  9. so much love to you and your family, Marquie <3 I don't know how the world does keep spinning after something so awful happens, but it somehow does, and it's a mixture of hurt and comfort that you try to bury yourself in to keep your mind busy. lots and lots of hugs your's and the doggies' way; never forget that it's okay not to be busy and just be sad. no on ever made a rule against it<3

  10. My heart still aches for you and I am so glad that you have Lassie and Petal to get you through this. Each playing their own part. Lassie is your “man”, your protector and just wants to take away your pain. Dear Petal is your “motivater” trying to occupy you with other things and showing you as much as it hurts, life goes on and you still have her and Lassie to devote yourself to as they have devoted themselves to you. Petal knows that Ella will always be there, watching over you. Hang in there! :)

  11. Your last comment is actually mine. Brandi Yee is my daughter and obviously was on my computer while she babysat the hounds last night. :)

  12. :( Oh no. I love reading your blog because of the happiness you and your dogs have to share. I’m so, so, SO upset to see these last two posts! I’m holding it in at work, trying not to cry! Ella was a beautiful girl and I’m glad you shared her with us through your blog. Her life was too short but it was filled with lots of love and joy. Sending hugs.

  13. We just read about your loss from Key West Collies. Our hearts go out to you. Ella was as lucky to have you as you were to have her. Losing them is always hard, but when they leave too soon it is even worse. Petal will help you and Lassie through this tough time. Wrap each other in love and know that Ella is watching over you. Run free at the Bridge, Ella!
    With our sincere condolences,
    Skye, the Moondance Huskies and mom Joan

  14. This is Cotton’s mom here and I just wanted to tell you that you’re still considerably strong to some people I know. Most of us here has gone through what you did and the last experience I had was in 1985 with my Poodle.
    But now, I look back at his old photos and he’s just a memory that makes me smile. You’ve still got Lassie and Petal and I’m sure they’re comforting you too!
    Cotton and his mommy

  15. My heartfelt sympathy! In Oct 2011 we had 4 dogs; as of Feb 2012 we have two. I really do understand and know how very, very difficult this is.

  16. so sorry to hear about poor Ella, it sucks so bad when they are taken so young. i lost my collie cross Deefa last year and he was 6 too. i got home from work and fed him and he seemed fine and within half an hour i knew something was very very wrong, i didnt know it at the time but he had meningitis, the vets tried for 5 days to stop his body killing him but i knew he was lost to me within that first half hour of him acting like he was drunk. It hurts so bad when you think everything is fine and you will watch them grow old only to have them snatched away from you without warning. i feel your pain truly i do xxx it took me months to get to a point where i wouldnt cry several times a day, but getting my 2nd dog storm and making his life happy has given me something to focus on. he will never replace deefa but i know one day i will meet him again and until then i will make stormys life as wonderful as i did with deefa. be strong, one day you will think of Ella and only feel happy and think of all the wonderful times you had together xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  17. I’m new, just having recently started a blog. I found you through mutual friends. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I lost one of my collies, Lad, last September, and he was only 7 years old. So I know how devastated you must be feeling right now. I don’t know what words of comfort that I can offer, other than that Ella is sure to have one friend at the Rainbow Bridge, my Lad will keep her company.

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